kevin's super duper adventure
by AviatorFoxtrot
Summary: Kevin was the perfect Mormon guy until he did a massive screw up and his soul was condemned to hell. now with the help of Arnold, he has to defeat the evil warlord who has threatened war. will Kevin save his soul? will Arnold man up? will they prevent a war? will the author actually write a serious fic someday? no one noes. this is obvs a shitfic
1. the beggining

hi my name is kevin and im here to tell u abt a super duper sexy adventure

Ok so im in uganda rite and i was partying with my mormon homies and also my villager homies. I was dancing to single ladies by beyonce

"YASSS BEYONCE IS MY QUEEN" i screamed as i kicked mutumbo in the no-no parts

"Oh em gee Kevin u r so good at dancing" gotswana said as he wiped a tear away from his eyeball

"I kno" i said and then i started twerking and it was so lit that the village caught on fire. People started screming and i didnt kno wat to do so i twerked backwards to reverse the effects but apparently i was so good at twerking that i fanned air towards the fire and it becam soper doper ultra humongous because diddly darn oxygen science

Suddeny satan rose from the flams! "ELDER PRICE" he said in a booming voice "YOU HAVE SET FIRE TO THIS VILLAGE AND NOW UR GOIN TO HELL HAHA"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" i sed heroically but also with a little frighten in my secksy voice. "I WILL DIE BEFORE I GO TO HELL"

"Um but thats what u do b4 u go to hell bUT ANYWAY BACK TO THE TOPIC" satin made flaming fire with his hands and then he did a dramatic point at me, who was crying like a baby (but dont tell anyone that) "UR SOUL NOW BELONGS TO ME AND U WILL NEVER SEE ORLANDO EVER AGAN!1!1!"

"HOW COULD U DO DIS TO ME UR A TERRIBLE PERSON" i yelled bak "UR JUST JELOUS BC I HAVE BETTER TWERKING SKILLZ THAN U"

"THATS TRU" SATAN SAID

Suddenly arnold flew out of the flaems and did an invisible guitar riff. "STOP BEING A MEENIE TO KEVIN" he demanded. Wowe arnold is pretty cool!

"okAY FINE BUT IN ORDER TO SAVE KEVINS SOUL U NEED TO COMPLETE DIS QUEST: u need to travel to a seecret part of uganda and defeat the evil warlord who has oppressed the clitoris. U 2 are the only hope for saving the clitoris"

"Wat does dis mean" i sed mystically, but befor i could ask satan he disappeared in a could of smoke. it smelled like farts

"Arnlod we gotta defeet the enemy of the clits" i said in a very cool voice that comes from superhero movies

"but how" arnold asked

I stared off into the distance liek a rly cool person in a cool action movie. "We need to train" i sed

And then we had a really awesome training montage and arnold and me got super ripped and i had a mega muscular butt for twerking so i was happy

when we were abt to leave kitguli everybody was outside and crying because 1) they were sad dat were leeving 2) dey were worried that somethin mite happen 2 us and 3) our muscles were too fabulous

"Wow Kevin ur so ripped" mckinley said with admiration on his eyeballs

"i kno" i sed and then i flexed my buttcheeks which made mckinley scream like a fangirl

Soon we had 2 leave. Mafala let us borrow his secret jetpacks that he saved up in case dere was an emurgency so we straped on our jetpacks and were abt to leave when nabalongi ran out from the vilage and hugged arnlod.

"Arnlod im gonna miss u a lot" Naba said as salty water dripped out of her sad facial orbs

And den arnold and naba did a really sexy smooch scene like der lips were smushed all over and it was sexy i love watching baptisms

we blasted off and our adventure was abt to start


	2. the forst battel

We blasted for a really really really really really really really long tiem. "ARE WE DERE YET" arnold screeched over our jetpacks farting sounds

"Uh nO ARNLOD" i sed "wat do u thonk dommy" arnlod started crying bc hes a baby

"WHOA WAIT WAT IS DAT" i pointed at a giant mountain on the horison

"ITS A MONTAIN" arnold yelled

"uh no sherlock dip" i said in a smart voice "im allergic to sherlock dip" i added

We blasted down to the bottom of the montan and landed liek ninjas. There was a giant cave and a blonde-haired blue-eyed dood was standing in front of it

"HOLY MOLY MACARONI ARTICHOKEY MANBALONEY" I said in a mature voice. "ARE YOU JOSEPH SMITH?"

"ye" the mysterious man sed.

"OMG IM A HYOOGE FAN OF YOU" my voice was screechy bc i was fangirling so hards. Arnold didnt look as excited but hes a looser.

"cum i have been watting for u both for a long tiem." joseph smith waved us ovr and we followed him into the cave. It was really really dark inside and cold and moist like the inside of a melon but with rocks instead of melon stuff

We walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked until joseph smith brot us to a hyooge door that was made of wood and it was rly pretty like my thicc buttcheks

We went into a room that was dark and uncool and stuff. Arnold whispered into my ear "hey dis is pretty suspicius and stuff u sure u can trust the dood"

I torned around and flipped my hair. "UHHHHH THIS IS JOSEPH SMITH LIKE HOW CAN YOU NOT TRUST HIM WERE MORMONS"

"ya but we rippd our shirts off bc we got buff"

"oh yea"

Joseph smith shooshed us and we walkd into the dark spooky room. It seemd huge bc i made echoes and stuff but i couldnt see anything. "Hey joe i cant see anythin" i sed "can u turn up the lights a bit"

Nobody sed anythin back. I sed joe's name again but he didnt say anything. It was actualy getting purty spoopy

SUDDENLY THERE WAS A GIANT EXPLOSHUN AND THE KRAKEN APPAEARED! I AND ARNLOD SCREEEEEEEECHED AND DEN WE FLECKSED OUR MUSCLES BECAUSE IT WAS SECKSY. ONE OF THE KRAKENS TENTACLS PICKED UP ARNLOD AND I SCREECHED AGAIN.

"KEVIN-CHAN SAVE ME" ARNOLD SED

I LEAPT UP AND PUNCHED THE KRAKEN IN ITS STUPID BOOTY FACE BUT DEN IT SLAPPED ME ACROS THE ROOM. WE WERE DOOMD!11!1!1!

SUDDENLY THE ANGEL MORONI DESCENDED FROM THE STARSHIP ENTERPRISE AND POKED TWO GIANT SORDS INTO THE KRANEK'S EYEBALLS AND IT GOT WEEK BUT IT STILL PINED MORONI DOWN! I HAD TO DO SOMETHIGN!

"I GOT IT!" i shouted and den i flexed my buttcheeks so hard it was like iron. I stuk my booty up at the kraken and started twerking SO HARD ITS EYEBALLS GOT SET ON FIRE! Moroni saw dis and staby stabbed the kraken and killd it rip and it explodede. Arnld and i clapped bc were good mormon children

"U need to be moar careful next tiem" moroni warned "that warnt joseph smith but one of the generals cronies"

"Dagnabbit" i sed "excuse my french"

"Dont worry ur good at french"

"o thx duolingo helped a lot"

Arnlod teared up "i couldve been tentacle porned" he sed

"WAT!" i yelled bc porn is bad

"oh no sorry i meant *prommed"

"O" i was furious! The warllord has prepz on his side! I huggd arnld to comfort him bc that wouldve been reely scary

"How did u find us tho" i askd moroni who then smiled really bigly and pointed at a person who was in the doorwey. It was nabillongi!

"NICKELODEON HOW DID YOU FIND US!" Arnold asked as he french kissed naba

"I followd the fart sounds ur jetpaks made and den i herd a kraken so i brougt my nunchuks"

naba is so smart! too bad she can be overlooked sometiems

moroni gave arnlod and me his magical glowy swords and den he teleported us to the savana and den he exploded


End file.
